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Tips for talking to your children about divorce

On Behalf of | Jul 19, 2021 | Divorce

Going through a divorce or separation is an incredibly stressful and emotional experience. When a couple breaks up the process becomes more complicated if children are involved. It can be a stressful and sad time for children. It is traumatic and scary for a child to witness their parents breaking up as they might be worried that they will be left alone with no one to take care of them.

Therefore, it is essential for parents to develop ways to help their children deal with the upheaval of a breakup. Ideally, before talking to your children, the parents should plan carefully and agree on what they will say. Read on to learn more tips for talking to your children about the breakup.

Break the news together and to everyone

If you have more than one child, it is vital to break the news to all children at the same time. If the parents are able to break the news together, that is one of the ways to let your children know that you will continue to work together as their parents although you will not be living together. It is not be good for a child to earns about the parents’ plans from their other siblings or relatives.

Avoid blaming

Avoid speaking negatively about each other when you are in front of the kids. This could be a bit challenging, especially if the idea of breaking was not a mutual decision. You may want to reveal the truth, but your child is not your therapist or your best friend, this would only make the children lose trust in one parent. You should try as much as possible to make sure the children know that did not cause the split and they cannot fix the situation.

Wait until plans are final

Divorce will have a significant impact on children’s lives, so you should be sure that it will happen when revealing it to them. If you are the one moving out, you might want to wait until you have secured a new home. After breaking the news, show your children their new home. This will also help them understand more about what is going on.

Explain what is happening and what they should expect

The kids will be eager to know what will happen during and after the process. Be open to sharing  only age appropriate logistical information. Do not forget to reassure your children that everything will be okay, you will always support them, and that the divorce is not their fault.

When talking to children, you must consider the age of each child. Younger children up to 10 years old might not understand the whole situation, so you must develop a way to approach them. You can discuss the basic details of the separation with all the children and later have a more detailed conversation with the older children.

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